KOACH HUMOR: A Rosh HaShanah Blessing

All of our readers are, no doubt, familiar with the Rosh HaShanah custom of eating an apple dipped in honey and other symbolic foods that express our wishes for the New Year.

Here are some new ideas:

We should eat things that imply happiness, sweetness and prosperity - like Cheerios, honeydew, plums and Cream of Wheat (see Psalm 81:17).

To promote tolerance among Jews, we should drink orange juice, grape juice and apple juice.

To stress unity, we ought to eat things that stick together, like macaroni and cheese, and peanut butter.

To remind us of the need for love and good will, let's have Hershey's kisses and Life Savers.

We should avoid eating anything that sounds violent: no cereal that has the words "Smacks" or "Pops" in their titles, no artichokes, no squash and no Bazooka gum. Also, nothing that sounds meshuggah, like flakes, bananas, or fruit cake. And definitely no bologna!

Lastly, we should eat as many peas as possible, with the hope that this will finally be the year that we see peace in our war-weary world!

[Posted 9/29/05]