KOACH HUMOR

"Marry a nice Jewish girl..."

The Goldsteins were never a very observant family. On Yom Kippur they abstained from ham -- if they remembered. But one thing they always told little Billy was: "Make sure you marry a nice Jewish girl."

Well, when Billy Goldstein was ready to get married he brought home his fiancé, an Irish woman named Patricia O'Neil. The Goldsteins were horrified -- "We've always told you one thing: marry a nice Jewish girl." Billy objects that Patricia is actually going to convert, but the Goldsteins will not give in: "She is a shiksa and will always be a shiksa."

The Goldsteins don't attend the wedding and refuse to talk to Billy for two months. Finally, Billy's mother can't resist. Mrs. Goldstein comes to his house and knocks on the door. When Billy opens the door she is amazed to see the candles set up for Shabbat dinner, Hebrew books in the library, and Patricia wearing a sheitel. She is shocked beyond belief. "You see," she says. "This is what happens when you marry a shiksa!!!"