A Moment and a Lifetime

Abby Bellows
University of Virginia

Plunging into the sun rising before us, a knot of eager KOACH birthright israel participants crowded into the back of our plane. Despite the surprise of some at our egalitarianism, we prayed Shaharit with gusto, bowing in the direction of our flight, towards that strip of green finally in sight. With some 66 young people from a range of Jewish, geographic, social and academic backgrounds, this dawn marked our arrival in a land that all of us had some connection to, but to which few of us had ever been. Hours before, we had gathered in an awkward mass at Newark Airport and said Tefilat Haderekh, the prayer for traveling, and for the first time, I was struck by the strange irony of asking to be "returned home in peace" while setting off for Israel – coming home to another land.

That first day brimmed with activity – after meeting up with our Israeli guards and tour guides Eli and Yossi, we toured through old Yafo and attended a lunch lecture with Avraham Infeld, the director of Hillel International, on Jewish identity beyond religiosity. Dusk fell and the initial flurry of camera flashes died down in proportion to our growing yawns as we settled into our Tiberias hotel, along the shore of the Kinneret (Sea of Gallilee).

Over the next few days we explored northern Israel. We learned about ancient Romans and contemporary immigrants at the old and new sections of Beit She’an, we paused for spiritual reflection in the Kinneret Cemetery, we toured ancient synagogues in mystical Tzfat and we were jolted through a thrilling jeep ride in the Golan Heights – deep with mud after a rare streak of welcome rain.

As we adjusted to colorful Israeli salads for breakfast and shekels in our wallets, the informative and approachable staff made an incredible difference. On my bus, for example, our tour guide Eli explained the various political boundaries in play outside our bus windows and outlined the major perspectives on Palestinian rights, the historical figures represented on sugar packets, as well as hosting a lively Hebrew Word of the Day skit. Furthermore, one of the reasons the KOACH trip was so special, was the guidance and passion of Rabbi Elyse Winick, Rabbi Barry Katz, Sherri Vishner and Hannah Estrin.

Our group included everyone from future rabbis to students who lived entirely secular lifestyles, which made praying three times a day, in traditional and learners’ services, even more unusual for some participants. Ultimately, the diverse demographic seemed to prove to the benefit of all, as we supported each other’s learning, in particular in the case of the three b’nei mitzvah who expressed their commitment to Judaism at Torah readings at Masada and the Kotel (Western Wall).

Midway through the week, we took the physical and spiritual ascent to Jerusalem, with joyous singing, dancing and a small ceremony upon our first view overlooking the city. In our first of two visits to the Western Wall, the individual connection and collective power of the site clutched many hearts – for one, her tears found comfort in the pockets of cool stone after years of yearning; for another, his tears brought clarity that he was destined for rabbinic studies. In addition, many students found Yad Vashem, the Holocaust Memorial and Museum, to be one of the most meaningful and resonant parts of the trip, particularly the opportunity to share family stories and emotional reflections with our supportive group.

As sun reflecting off the creamy Jerusalem stone sank into the horizon on Friday afternoon, we gathered in the brisk dusk for the weekly "Shabbat siren," remarking to each other once again how surreal it was to be in a place so dense with Jews. The bursting energy of Kabbalat Shabbat was complimented by the precious relaxation of Shabbat naps and chatting, along with workshops on everything from Talmudic disputes to Torah Yoga. After Havdalah, several participants raised money for Tsunami Relief from other birthright israel participants in our hotel, eventually reaching $1000 over the course of a few days. Later Saturday evening, we relished our pocket of freedom for dinner on Emek Refaim, followed by an evening of superb Irish music, performed by an Israeli group which represented the global diversity of Israeli culture.

At dawn the next day, we wandered through the ruins atop Masada. By midmorning we were smeared with salty mud and silliness floating in the Dead Sea and by the afternoon we felt the timelessness of standing next to the same Ein Gedi waterfalls where King David likely stood 3,000 years ago. That evening we gradually began saying goodbye, sharing reflections of a journey that – wherever we were coming from – took us each somewhere new. From the formerly disinterested to those eager to learn Hebrew, from the recent converts to those focused on careers as Jewish communal professionals, from Georgia to New York City, we are each still processing the impact that this experience had on our respective Jewish identities and our relationship with Israel.

Our ten-day trip was both blink-of-an-eye fast and in another sense, timeless. The relationships we formed with each other will continue to enrich us, as will our memories of warm faces along the journey – such as the children of Neve Hanna, a children’s home in Kiryat Gat which hosted us for a delicious lunch and a playful afternoon. Of course, we each had points that we felt could be improved about the trip as well – some wanted more outdoors programs, others wanted more time with Israeli young people (who did join us for a day in Jerusalem). For me, our experience would have been strengthened by more authentic, face-to-face contact with other cultures within Israel, including the Bedouin population, Russian and Ethiopian immigrants, and Israeli-Arabs.

That said, the jam-packed experience was an incredible opportunity to engage with staff, Israelis and my fellow American participants about the rich beauty and complexity of this land and people. I found that being there helped distinguish the many images of "Israel" in play – the messianic homeland of our liturgy, the post-Holocaust safe haven arising from history texts, the modern nation-state painted in the news, embedded in a cycle of strife…. In addition to deepening my connection to this holy, intense place, the trip sharpened my questions about how Israel fits with other values that I care about. What does it mean to be a state that has one foot in the world of pluralistic, egalitarian democracy and yet by definition is more concerned with the Jewish people than others? And within the Jewish community, how do we confront the religious inequalities that marginalize, and sometimes even invalidate, Masorti (Conservative) and other forms of non-Orthodox Judaism?

Finally, one of my more lingering questions as I settle back into college life in Virginia, is how Israel and Zionism relate to those of us active in communities that are comfortable and flourishing in the Diaspora. On the whole though, while our trip has left me with more questions than before, that legacy, along with real experience with the issues at hand, may be what I am most appreciative of. As KOACH Director Rich Moline explained in his d’rash Friday night in Jerusalem, "Isra-el" refers to wrestling with God, so our loving critique is essential as we return to our questions and to this land for the second, third, and fourth time. May our understanding of Israel, Judaism, and ourselves deepen as we go from strength to strength.

Abby Bellows is a third year at the University of Virginia, where she dabbles in different disciplines, double majoring in Jewish Studies and Political & Social Thought. In addition to her involvement with the local Jewish community, as president of UVA's Hillel, she roots herself Jewishly in the Havurah movement and a newer independent, participatory, pluralistic community called Jews in the Woods. Other interests include singing, dialoguing with other religious and cultural groups, and chalk pastel finger-drawing. She is taking suggestions for future life plans!

[Posted 2/7/05]