Concentric Circles

By Nicole Richards
Binghamton University

Last week, I ended one of my days with a walk through my university’s nature preserve. I was extremely angry for no distinct reason, and I decided to let some of that anger out of me as movement through the woods. I brought with me a plastic bag, which I filled with rocks as I walked- my ultimate goal was to throw these rocks into the murky water below the nearby bridge.

In times of hardships and struggle, people go to a place in them where they blame God and shy away from God. I believe that as I embarked on that walk, I was in that place. I found myself stumbling off the trail and covering my boots in mud, and my frustration was mounting.

I will admit that the thought of prayer did not consciously occur to me at all at this point. As I freed my foot from the muck I found myself thinking "finally, thank God." This moment of "thank God" was not just an expression, but an actual declaration. As I freed my foot, I noticed all the beautiful trees around me for the first time. Of course I’d been surrounded by trees from the beginning of my walk, but this was the first time I really saw them for what they were; God’s miracles. Detaching my foot from the ground was the beginning of prayer.

I continued throughout the woods in a state of serenity, collecting more rocks as I went. At long last I reached my destination, and after checking that there was nobody nearby, I began chucking the rocks into the water. The rocks ranged from little pebbles to slabs of stone, but they all had one thing in common. Each rock hitting the water was a prayer. Each opening ring on the lake’s surface was a prayer. I can’t specifically explain what I was praying for, but I know that in that moment I was inspired by the world around me, and I felt connected to God.

Before leaving the bridge, I said the Sheheheyanu, the blessing said over new and special things. Though I still do not feel entirely comfortable with traditional prayer, saying the blessing as I left the woods helped bring me a sense of peace.

Nicole Richards is a sophomore at Binghamton University double majoring in Theatre and English with a creative writing concentration.

[Posted 10/28/11]