Tashlikh Redux: More Than Your Average Sin

Tashlich Supplement:

(c) 1997 Richard J Israel

Taking a few crumbs to Tashlich from whatever old bread is in the house lacks subtlety, nuance and religious sensitivity. I would suggest that we can do better. Instead:

For ordinary sins, use - White Bread

For exotic sins - French Bread

For particularly dark sins - Pumpernickel

For complex sins - Multi-grain

For twisted sins - Pretzels

For tasteless sins - Rice Cakes

For sins of indecision - Waffles

For sins committed in haste - Matzah

For sins committed in less than eighteen minutes - Shmurah Matzah

For sins of chutzpah - Fresh Bread

For substance abuse/marijuana - Stoned Wheat

For substance abuse/heavy drugs - Poppy Seed

For arson - Toast

For timidity - Milk Toast

For high-handedness - Napoleons

For being sulky - Sourdough

For silliness - Nut Bread

For not giving full value - Short bread

For jingoism - Yankee Doodles

For telling bad jokes - Corn Bread

For being money-hungry - Enriched Bread or Raw Dough

For telling small lies - Fudge

For war-mongering - Kaiser Rolls

For promiscuity - Hot Buns

For racism - Crackers

For sophisticated racism - Ritz Crackers

For being holier-than-thou - Bagels

For unfairly up-braiding others - Challah

For provocative dressing - Wonton Wrappers

For snobbery - Upper Crusts

For indecent photography - Cheese Cake

For trashing the environment - Dumplings

For the sin of laziness - Any Very Long Loaf

For being hyper-critical - Pan Cakes

For political skullduggery - Bismarcks

For over-eating - Stuffing Bread or Bulkie Rolls

For gambling - Fortune Cookies

For pride - Puff Pastry

For cheating - Bread made with Nutrasweet and Olestra

For being snappish - Ginger Bread

For dropping in without calling beforehand - Popovers

For trying to improve everyone within sight -Angel Food Cake

For being up-tight and irritable - High Fiber or Bran Muffins

For sycophancy - Brownies

For rearing children incompetently - Raisin Bread

For immodest behavior - Tarts

For causing injury or damage to others - Tortes

For hardening our hearts - Jelly doughnuts

For abrasiveness - Grits

For recurring slip ups - Banana Bread

For davening off tune - Flat Bread

For impetuosity - Quick Bread

For silliness - Nut Bread

For risking one's life unnecessarily - Hero Bread

For auto theft - Caraway

For excessive use of irony - Rye Bread

For larceny (especially of copyright material) - Stollen

etc.,etc.

Remember, you don't have to show your crumbs to anyone.

[Posted 9/18/09]