The Jewish Actor’s Studio

Dov, a Jewish actor, is so down and out he's ready to take any acting gig that he can find. Finally he sees a classified ad that says: "Actor needed to play ape." "I could do that," says Dov. To his surprise, the employer turns out to be the local zoo.

Owing to mismanagement, the zoo has spent so much money renovating the grounds and improving the habitat that they can no longer afford to import the ape they needed to replace their recently deceased one.

So until they can, they'll put an actor in an ape suit. Out of desperation, Dov accepts the offer.

At first, his conscience keeps nagging him, that he is being dishonest by fooling the zoo-goers.

And Dov feels undignified in the ape-suit, stared at by crowds who watch his every move.

But after a few days on the job, he begins to be amused by all the attention, and starts to put on a show for the visitors: hanging upside-down from the branches by his legs, swinging about on the vines, climbing up the cage walls, and roaring with all his might while beating his chest. Soon, he's drawing a sizable crowd.

One day, when Dov is swinging on the vines to show off to a group of school kids, his hand slips, and he goes flying over the fence into the neighboring cage, the lion's den.

Terrified, Dov backs up as far from the approaching lion as he can, covers his eyes with his paws, and prays at the top of his lungs, "Shma Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad!"

The lion opens its powerful jaws and roars, "Baruch Shem K'vod Malchuto L'olam Va'ed!"

From a nearby cage, a panda yells, "Shut up, you schmucks. 
You'll get us all fired!!!"

[Posted 7/11/10]