The Roles We Play

By Alyssa Appelman
KOC Editor
University of Missouri – Columbia

I've never been in a situation where I have actually been embarrassed to call myself Jewish. In fact, I don't think I've ever even felt mildly uncomfortable doing so. I'm having a hard time thinking of any experience in my life that did not involve either everyone around me being Jewish or everyone around me knowing that I was Jewish.

It would seem that during those times when I was surrounded by Jews, at Schechter or Ramah, for example, it would have been pretty easy to feel comfortable with my own identity. And it would seem that during those times when I was in the minority, I would have been less secure.

But for me, that hasn't really been the case.

When I've been in all-Jewish settings, my Jewish identity has just been understood. Because of that, I haven't had the need to explain myself or to justify my choices. While it's nice to have that particular part of your identity in common, I think human nature causes everyone to find other, more specific ways to distinguish themselves. (I can still tell you which of my fellow campers went to day schools, which ones had visited Israel, and which ones were the most observant.)

Thus, although it's easy to say "I am Jewish" in such settings, I think the meaning of that statement becomes almost non-existent. Of course you're Jewish, but what does that mean for you? Yes, we pray and learn and discuss based on Jewish teachings, but, because you are not being forced to justify yourself, there is little need to really stand up and explain your views. There is little need to qualify your decisions.

But when I've been in the minority, my role has been different. I have found myself unofficially becoming the Jewish mascot -- You know, the person who fields all of the What's that holiday about? and Why do you do that? and What does that mean? questions. Even though I know very few people actually like to play that role, I think it's an important experience to have. Figuring out your answers to those questions helps to make you more self-actualizing, as you continue to grow and mold your views. It seems counterintuitive, but I think being one of a limited number of Jews actually strengthens your identity.

I'm not saying you should drop out of your Hillels or quit your Jewish fraternities. I just think it's important for us to realize that our lives should be based on a variety of experiences, in order for us to make the most of them.

What about you? If you have a story to share, feel free to respond to our short answer poll question of the month: Have you ever been embarrassed by your Jewish identity? We will publish responses in next month's issue, as we continue to learn from one another.

[Posted 01/19/07]